KICK CODY TO THE CURB!
All ODB Needs Is A Flask And A Belt

by Eric Colby

Anytime the fans heard glass shatter and the first few bars of “Stone-Cold” Steve Austin’s theme music play, they knew two things—Austin was going to raise hell and Austin was taking matters into his own hands.

It was that unapologetic, in-your-face edge that made him one of the most popular wrestlers of all-time.

Down in Orlando, there’s another blue-collar, rough-around-the-edges grappler who enjoys a similar appeal. ODB, the boob-grabbin’, flask-swillin’, butt-kickin’ grappler is as in-your-face as any wrestler has ever been, and it’s earned her enormous popularity with TNA’s fans. It has also earned her her first TNA Knockouts championship … sort of.

It’s true ODB was awarded the title at Hard Justice. However, the fact that Cody Deaner won it by pinning Velvet Sky in a convoluted tag team match, serves as kind of an asterisk to ODB’s achievement. That’s because Deaner, who earned a place at ODB’s side by virtue of winning a TNA-sponsored contest to spend one night with the Minnesota native, found a way to parlay his victory into a romantic relationship with ODB that now threatens her title reign and standing in the sport.

Much like Austin, ODB is at her best when she’s riding on the fumes of whatever’s in her flask, cracking heads, being politically incorrect, and speaking her mind, which is often crude, rude, and nasty. Though she has enough femininity to rightfully be labeled a Knockout, ODB has ridden unladylike behavior to the top of TNA. Though she occasionally formed partnerships with the other ladies on TNA’s roster, they were usually fleeting, lasting long enough to vanquish a common foe or foes.

Enter Deaner, with his mullet, duct tape, and puppy-dog devotion to ODB. To date, he’s interfered in countless of her matches and has even cost her several victories. And even though he was instrumental in her getting the title, he now insists that he is the rightful Knockouts champion!

Just as Austin would never have tolerated such meddling, it’s in ODB’s best interest to ditch Deaner and once again tap into what lurks beneath her massive “pecs” and barely-there skirts. As her success in the Knockouts division prior to Deaner’s arrival demonstrates, she gets much better results flying solo, and not being so in touch with her feminine side.

“I don’t worry about ODB getting soft,” opined TNA announcer Mike Tenay, “as much as I worry about that goofball Deaner. He’s a pest. He’s constantly interfering and getting involved when he shouldn’t be. I think getting rid of him would allow ODB to focus on putting together a lengthy Knockouts title reign.”

Indeed, the distraction of a love interest vying for your title is enough to compromise anyone’s focus. Imagine having to face your significant other in a title match as ODB had to do against Deaner at the No Surrender pay-per-view.

Another aspect in which Deaner’s presence hurts ODB is ring time. With so many new Knockouts joining the company, ODB should be honing her skills even further by squaring off with them on Impact. Instead, Deaner gets time in the ring against men like Abyss while ODB seconds him like a glorified cheerleader nipping at her flask and shouting encouragement from ringside.

She has also wasted precious training time schooling Deaner on his rural farm, having him chase chickens and haul beer kegs. The time she dedicates to Deaner’s “training” is time she would be better served using to strategize and train. All in all, it doesn’t portend for a distinguished title run.

If ODB can’t recognize the drain Deaner has put on her career, she should at least recognize how he has embarrassed her as a woman. It’s no secret that when it comes to the other Knockouts, Deaner has a roving eye, not to mention hands and lips.

In previous segments on Impact, Deaner has planted wet ones on Awesome Kong, Angelina Love, and Velvet Sky. “It was the grossest thing that ever happened to me. Ever,” Sky told PWI. “I had to brush my teeth, like 10 times a day for a month, and gargle with Lysol.” Then at Hard Justice, Deaner grabbed himself three gratuitous pats on Sky’s backside as he scored the pinfall. “That pig violated me at Hard Justice,” Sky continued. “ODB totally needs to keep him on a leash.”

There are few women who do not regret the one-night stands in their lives. And ODB is most likely lamenting the one night she agreed to spend with Deaner, but unlike those that can put such encounters behind them, ODB must deal with the ramifications of having Deaner in her camp and in TNA.

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem ODB is the type to ruminate over past indiscretions, especially those concerning affairs of the heart. If anything, she appears to act first and think second. Now she must act, quickly, to exorcise Deaner from her life.

Just as Austin never paraded around WWE with an entourage—or even a manager, for that matter—it is time for ODB to get back to her roots—drinking, cussing, and brawling—all by herself. There is nothing to be gained by continuing to associate with Cody Deaner, but there is a Knockouts title and legion of fans to lose. ODB does not need Cody Deaner or any of the trouble he brings. All she needs is her flask and a belt.